R.I.P Bailey

I usually try to keep my posts light hearted but I can't today. It has been seven months from the day that my care horse, Bailey was put to sleep.
I was attending college and every equine major is assigned a horse to take care of. Right before Christmas break, the management at the barn forced me to body clip Bailey. This was despite my many complaints about his physical and mental well being. He was old, skinny, narcoleptic, lame and was terrified of clippers. Those are five very big reasons to NOT clip a horse. Because it risked getting a failing grade, I had to cave in and do it anyway.
A week later I received an email from the school's vet letting me know that Bailey had been put to sleep. Ever since then, I've been struggling with overwhelming feelings of guilt and anger. Was me clipping him the straw that broke the camels back? I'll never know but I do know that it never should have been done. I mourned him like you would a person and I still do. On the fourth of every month I am reminded of the sad horse who was in so much pain.
This one event was the impetus for me leaving that particular college. I did not want to be attached to the name of an institution that could do this to a horse. I miss the barn and riding with every fiber of my being. I still have passion and the desire to have a career with horses, I just need to find somewhere else to pursue my education.